I recently searched Twitter using “stress” as my keyword, and found so many interesting and profound Tweets from all kinds of sources. But the one that really stood out to me was this one:
“Don’t stress over what could have been, start focusing on what actually could be.”
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
How true is this? What a great commentary on our “shoulda, coulda, woulda” mentality that creates the hamster wheel of our minds to constantly churn away. And what a waste of our precious time, energy and resources.
How often do you find yourself reviewing the past, wishing that you or someone else had made different choices? Does that process help to move you forward? Does it make you feel any better?
“If only I had worked those extra hours, I might have gotten a promotion”
“if only I had gotten better grades in college, I might have gotten a better job.”
“Why couldn’t our relationship have worked out – it seemed like everything was going so well?”
I’m not saying these aren’t valid questions. But they can take on a life of their own when you are constantly asking them over and over again. And you will end up getting stuck in the questions instead of being able to move on.
Focusing on a past that didn’t meet your expectations can leave you feeling unhappy, angry, and yes, even stressed, as you constantly revisit that past while simultaneously trying to move ahead, vowing to not repeat past mistakes. It feels like swimming against an enormously strong current while wearing weights. And what tremendous pressure to put on yourself.
Instead, consider this:
♥ Accept what is.
♥ Use your past as a learning experience.
♥ Become aware of and focus on what “could be” means to you.
I invite you to share your experience and comment below – are you still stuck, or have you been able to extricate yourself from the past?